Today marks the last post from Valerie, last Thursday’s Real (Experienced) Mom. I hope you have enjoyed reading about her as much as I have. Each time I read her stories I am inspired and amazed. I hope you are, too.<\/p>\n
If you haven’t read them yet, please swing by and read Part One<\/a>, Part Two<\/a> and Part Three<\/a>.<\/p>\n Is there anything about your parenting that you are especially proud of? What is it? <\/strong><\/p>\n I think if I’m proud of anything, it would be letting them fail. \u00a0We didn’t rescue them from every situation. \u00a0We helped them learn from their mistakes. \u00a0There are so many things I can’t take credit for because God’s mercy covered my failings and pride when I got full of myself. \u00a0The boys each had their own way of showing me my weaknesses by seeing them in their lives. \u00a0I was given five little mirrors to see my sin and God’s love cover them all. \u00a0 Sometimes the thing that bugged me the most was what I didn’t want to deal with in my own life.<\/p>\n The biggest lesson came when one boy wanted to quit high school. \u00a0We knew it wasn’t a great fit for him but pride got in the way. \u00a0What would people think of our parenting if we just let him quit? \u00a0It took months with a child\u00a0psychologist to show us that our son would be ok. \u00a0Relationship was more important than a diploma. \u00a0It was our pride that was the problem. \u00a0It took maturity on all our parts to see what we see now. \u00a0The doctor said, “Time plus experience equal maturity.”\u00a0 We know, now, that was both for our son and us. \u00a0We saved relationship at the cost of rigidity. Years later our son has gotten his GED, went to college, married and will graduate from college next year. His experience will give him tools that a\u00a0rigid\u00a0plan would not.<\/p>\n Is there anything about your parenting that you now regret? Do you mind sharing that with us?<\/strong><\/p>\n I regret being angry as a young mom. \u00a0Having four kids under six was hard. \u00a0I was not emotionally healthy and did not see it. \u00a0I was a yeller. \u00a0I was controlling. \u00a0When I went to counseling, I learned coping skills to help me. \u00a0I took pills that also helped. \u00a0This\u00a0combination along with prayer and fellowship of believers changed my life. \u00a0At thanksgiving this year we had a family with small children join ours for the day. \u00a0She admitted that she was a yeller. \u00a0I said I was one too and my youngest said, “You were?” \u00a0Either I was healthier when he was young or God’s grace and mercy covered us. \u00a0Still, I regret yelling and spanking and punishing that was not done in love.<\/p>\n When your children were very young, did you have any hobbies you enjoyed just for yourself? If so, what were they?<\/strong><\/p>\n I have always love sewing and crafts. \u00a0This was good for us all. \u00a0It took me away and grounded me at the same time.<\/p>\n Knitting and crocheting gave the boys and others many blankets. Sewing was a delight from youth. \u00a0I had my own sewing machine in 6th grade and would sew with my mom. \u00a0Our first big purchase in marriage was a sewing machine. \u00a0I sewed everything. \u00a0I took apart a pair of my husband’s cords for a pattern and made his pants and shirts. \u00a0I even made his tightey whiteys! For years I made most of our clothes. \u00a0I made sleepers and t-shirts and pants for the boys. \u00a0One year for Christmas I made 35 pair of boxers, 7 for each boy. \u00a0 I don’t think sewing is as economical today as it was. Both then and now I garage sale and thrift store shop.<\/p>\n Quilting is the hobby that is really me time. \u00a0I have a bunch of projects going at once and am always planning a new one. \u00a0I love color and design. \u00a0I love traditional and\u00a0contemporary quilts. I work in a quilt store and have for the last ten years. \u00a0When the boys were small, nothing seemed to end. \u00a0Groceries, cooking, laundry, cleaning, but sewing had a start and an end. \u00a0It satisfied the creativity God had put in me and the need to see something complete. \u00a0I do have many projects that are like children, though, that never seem to get done.<\/p>\n If you could give newer moms three pieces of advice, what would they be?<\/strong><\/p>\n 1. \u00a0Partner with your husband and God. <\/strong><\/p>\n You are a team. \u00a0Remember, you picked him for a reason. \u00a0If you need to, dig back and find the reason you said “I do.” \u00a0The qualities you once found endearing may annoy you now. \u00a0Our greatest strengths are also are weaknesses. \u00a0Before you married you admired that he never left a job half-finished and would help someone at the drop of a hat. \u00a0Now it annoys you that he stays late at work to finish a project or spends Saturday loading someone’s moving van. Rejoice in his strengths and respect them.<\/p>\n 2. \u00a0You are the best gift your children can ever get. <\/strong><\/p>\n They crave your time. \u00a0It goes soon. \u00a0Everyone says it but it really does slip away if you let it. \u00a0Don’t let it. \u00a0The new computer or car can wait, time with your children shouldn’t have to. \u00a0They want you more than things. \u00a0They may not know it as they get bigger but they still do. Some want to stay home with their children when they are young. \u00a0I found I wanted to stay home when they were in school also so I could send them off and welcome them home. \u00a0This was as \u00a0important as the preschool years. \u00a0They may not always talk to you, but warm cookies has a way of opening them up.<\/p>\n 3. \u00a0Let God give you grace. <\/strong><\/p>\n Just as salvation is a gift we can’t earn and don’t deserve, we need to receive grace and mercy. \u00a0We will all keep making mistakes in how we relate to others. \u00a0Admit it to God and if need be to others \u00a0(your kids, husband, friend, mother-in-law). \u00a0Keep open communication with the Savior and those He put in your sphere of influence. \u00a0As a stay at home mom when someone asked what I did I told them I was in investments. \u00a0I was investing in future leaders.<\/p>\n I truly hope you have enjoyed Valerie’s insight and stories as our Real (Experienced) Mom. Her posts have truly been a blessing to me and I hope they will be to my children, too, as I try to implement some of the things she has shared.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n This coming Thursday we’ll hear from our next Real (Experienced) Mom. She’s quite a lady, too!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Today marks the last post from Valerie, last Thursday’s Real (Experienced) Mom. I hope you have enjoyed reading about her as much as I have. Each time I read her stories I am inspired and amazed. I hope you are, too. 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