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<\/a><\/p>\nI am thrilled to share Cindy’s story with you. Not only is it amazing and filled with wisdom on its own, but I told Cindy I wouldn’t post it until she finished reading the entire Bible. This post is a celebration of her victory alongside her husband… both as partners in parenting and partners in Bible-reading.<\/p>\n
Read on and prepare to be blessed by the stories she shares…<\/p>\n What are the approximate ages of your children now?<\/strong><\/p>\n My son, Andrew, is 29.\u00a0 My daughter, Heather, is 27.\u00a0 And my youngest daughter, Sonja, is 24.<\/p>\n Do you have grandchildren?<\/strong><\/p>\n Yes, three wonderful grandchildren.<\/p>\n What are some of the qualities that you admire in your children?<\/strong><\/p>\n Some of the qualities that I admire in Andrew are a strong work ethic, honesty, sensitivity, and the desire to do what God wants him to do.\u00a0 The qualities that I admire in Heather are loyalty, honesty, attentiveness to details, following God\u2019s leadership, and steadfastness.\u00a0 Sonja is my special needs daughter and she has several qualities that I admire.\u00a0 Some of them are gentleness, compassion, and her sense of humor.<\/p>\n Before your children were of traditional school age, were you a stay at home mom or were you employed outside the home? At the time, how did you feel about that decision? How do you feel about it now?<\/strong><\/p>\n I have always been a stay at home mom.\u00a0 Andrew was born 9 \u00bd months into our marriage.\u00a0 And I had a strong desire to stay home with him.\u00a0 Rollin and I looked at our options and realized that it would be best for me to stay home.\u00a0 At the time we made that decision, we did not realize how important it would be.\u00a0 God knew that we would have a special needs child and that it would be necessary for me to be at home.\u00a0 Sonja would need evaluations, speech therapy, driven to school several miles from home, taken to doctor appointments, and many other responsibilities that would have made employment very difficult.<\/p>\n Even though I was not employed full time, God did give me opportunities to earn some income to help our budget.\u00a0 I have provided child care in my home, taught a two day a week preschool at my church for almost 20 years, and sewed items to be sold.<\/p>\n Now that my children are grown, I know we made the right decision for our family.\u00a0 I could not have handled the stress of working full-time, meeting Sonja\u2019s needs and the needs of my other children.<\/p>\n Tell me about a difficult decision you remember making as a mom concerning one of your children. If you could do it over, would you make the same choice? <\/strong><\/p>\n This answer isn\u2019t about making a difficult decision but about coming to understand that I had a special needs child.\u00a0 The dreams that I had for her when I first held her as a baby were not going to happen.\u00a0 I had to learn to grieve the old dreams and let new dreams take their place. Sonja\u2019s difficulties were not evident until she was about 11 to 12 months old.\u00a0 Then we had to go through evaluations to determine her issues.\u00a0 Sonja has learning disabilities, speech and language problems, anxiety issues, scoliosis, and is mildly retarded.\u00a0 Because Sonja will probably never marry and have children, I have had to realize that I will never have an empty nest.\u00a0 I will always have a \u201cchild \u201cat home because mentally she is an 8 or 9 year old.<\/p>\n And believe me when I say, I would do it all again.\u00a0 She has taught me so much about God and his love.\u00a0 She has a sweet innocence about her that is precious. After we named her, we learned that Sonja means wisdom and Renee means reborn.\u00a0 And God has used Sonja to give us His wisdom reborn.\u00a0 She has been known at church as the Minister of Hugs.\u00a0 I am thankful, most of the time, to be the mother of Sonja.\u00a0 The road that we have traveled with Sonja as a family has not been easy.\u00a0 Andrew and Heather were not able to do some activities because of the demands Sonja had that needed to be met.\u00a0 But the thing that I am thankful for is that we worked together as a family to do the best we could in a difficult situation.\u00a0 And all five of us are better for it.<\/p>\n Tell me about something you feel you did ‘right’ as a mom.<\/strong><\/p>\n I taught my children about God and his love for them.\u00a0 I remember Sonja wanting to learn to read so she could read her Bible.\u00a0 She is not able to read every word of the Bible, but she will read her Bible.\u00a0 When she goes with me to a Bible study class, she is always willing to look up scripture and attempt to read the requested verse.\u00a0 Also, the older children participated in a program called Bible Drill which gave them skills to memorize scripture, support their beliefs with scriptures and be able to find a needed verse.\u00a0 When Andrew went to college as a music business major, he was able to locate Bible verses faster than the religion majors.<\/p>\n Also, the kids were able to take mission trips to share their faith, even Sonja participated in mission trips.\u00a0 When Sonja and I participated in a mission trip to New Orleans in 2007, the youth choir presented a musical to homeless people at a shelter.\u00a0 When Sonja did her part of the program, God used her with her limited abilities to minister to all who were in the room.\u00a0 That is something that I will never forget. Andrew, Heather and I participated in a mission trip to Indiana in 1992 with several people from our church.\u00a0 It was good for my school age children to see how God could use all of us to minister to others who needed help and create wonderful memories with believers at the same time.<\/p>\n And now my children are taking their children to church.\u00a0 And I have the privilege to help teach my grandchildren the importance of God and his love for them.<\/p>\n Are there any particular foods that your grown children now ask for at family gatherings? Would you mind sharing those recipes and any story behind the dish?<\/strong><\/p>\n Homemade waffles.\u00a0 And there is a story to that.<\/p>\n One year my father asked me what I wanted for Christmas.\u00a0 My husband immediately told him that I wanted a waffle iron, not asking me if that was something I really wanted.\u00a0 For Christmas I received a small waffle iron.\u00a0 Soon after, I made homemade waffles for the five of us.\u00a0 Rollin and the kids devoured them quickly.\u00a0 I could not make them fast enough.\u00a0 Everyone loved waffles, but with the small waffle iron, it was like a feeding frenzy.\u00a0 All of them would fight over the waffle as soon as it finished cooking.\u00a0 Since feeding my family waffles with a small waffle iron, my loving husband gave me a larger one for our tenth wedding anniversary.\u00a0 How romantic!?!<\/p>\n From the time I received the second waffle iron, I have used both to cook waffles to feed my hungry brood. As the children grew older, I would have to triple my recipe to have enough waffles.\u00a0\u00a0 Friends of the kids would invite themselves over to spend the night just to eat homemade waffles.\u00a0 Now when Andrew and Heather find out that I am making waffles, they will make an effort to be here to eat them.<\/p>\n Did you establish or follow any family traditions with your children that you especially cherished… then or now? Tell me about a few of your favorites.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n When my children were young, I started to fix a special Christmas breakfast.\u00a0 We planned the meal together, and of course there were homemade waffles.\u00a0 We would try to invite someone who would be lonely for Christmas to join us.\u00a0 As the children got older and into college, they would sometimes bring home someone to share the meal.<\/p>\n A birthday cake for Jesus is another one of our Christmas traditions.\u00a0 When the kids were young, they would help me decorate a cake for Jesus\u2019 birthday.\u00a0 By doing that, we were able to teach them the importance of God\u2019s gift of love and salvation.\u00a0 During the Christmas season, we would emphasize the birth of Jesus.\u00a0 There would be a least one nativity that the kids could play with.\u00a0 And we would read the Christmas story from the Bible each Christmas Eve.\u00a0 We never had Santa bring the kids their presents.\u00a0 Our Christmas mornings were full of much excitement with our surprises for the kids, and the kid\u2019s surprises for us.\u00a0 Today, Heather and her husband are doing the same thing with their sons.\u00a0 Just last week, Gavin, my grandson, asked me to get \u201cBaby Jesus\u201d (the Nativity) down from my closet because he wanted to play with Jesus.<\/p>\n In the mid 1990\u2019s, my husband\u2019s family started coming to my house for Thanksgiving dinner.\u00a0 And it was special to incorporate some of my favorite recipes from my childhood along with using favorite dishes of the Grossholz family.\u00a0 Again, we would try to find someone who needed a \u201cfamily\u201d to share Thanksgiving.\u00a0 Also, as the children became older they would bring friend to Thanksgiving dinner.<\/p>\n How did you celebrate birthdays with your children?<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n Birthdays were kept simple, mainly because our children\u2019s birthdays fall in the span of 32 days.\u00a0 We would take them to their favorite restaurant and would have cake and ice cream at home.\u00a0 Now, we try to get together and share a family meal, but that can be challenging with all three birthdays so close together and each family, ours, Andrew\u2019s and Heather\u2019s, busy schedules.<\/p>\n What were some of your family’s favorite things to do together when you had preschoolers? Elementary-school age children? High schoolers? Now?<\/strong><\/p>\n As preschoolers, I remember catching lightning bugs.\u00a0 All three of them had so much fun doing that.\u00a0 There were times we would bring the jar of lightning bugs into the house, turn off all the lights and be amazed that a small bug could produce so much light.\u00a0 We would always release the bugs before bedtime so that the kids would go the sleep.\u00a0 It was always amazing to rediscover the wonders of God\u2019s creation through their eyes.<\/p>\n As the children grew, we would go and have picnics at Fall Creek Falls State Park and hike the trails.\u00a0 The kids always looked forward to hiking to the bottom of the falls.\u00a0 The trip back to the car would sometimes prove challenging because of weary children not wanting to climb back to the top.\u00a0 However, we all have fond memories of Fall Creek Falls and our trips there.\u00a0 Also, taking family vacations, going to amusement parks and other family outings were enjoyed by all and have created memories we all enjoy to this day.<\/p>\n As the children grew older and their musical talent increased, participating in the high school band became a family lifestyle so to speak.\u00a0 Our family participated in our local school\u2019s high school band program for seven years.\u00a0 There were band camps to attend, numerous practices, football games in all kinds of weather, fall marching band competitions on several Saturdays, concert band practices starting in late fall through spring, winter drum line practices and competitions and money to be raised to support all of the band events that each one participated in.\u00a0 All three children participated in the high school band program.\u00a0 You may be wondering how Sonja could participate but she did.\u00a0 Sonja had taken piano lessons for several years.\u00a0 Since piano is a percussion instrument, Sonja was able to play some of the instruments in the pit, the members of the marching band that stand at the sideline playing, while the wind instruments, drums, and color guard perform on the field.\u00a0 Both Andrew and Heather encouraged Sonja to participate in the band her freshman year of high school.\u00a0 God provided for Sonja by allowing her brother, Andrew, to be hired as one of the part-time percussion instructors for the band. \u00a0Andrew knew her abilities, strengths and weaknesses.\u00a0 As a family we were amazed at Sonja\u2019s growth during that particular time.\u00a0 During the seven years the kids were in the band, we grew together as a family because we participated as a family.\u00a0 Those years were busy years for us, however we have memories and friendships we cherished.<\/p>\n Is there anything about your parenting that you are especially proud of? What is it? <\/strong><\/p>\n That I have done the best I could given our circumstances.\u00a0 The challenges of raising children can be a demanding task.\u00a0 I am amazed how God was able to take my sometimes poor parenting skills and bless me with three wonderful adult children.\u00a0 And I am proud of the fact that my marriage stayed intact even with the demands of a special needs child.\u00a0 Most of the parents of Sonja\u2019s peers were divorced.\u00a0 The fact that my marriage is still thriving even through some very difficult trials is a blessing from God.\u00a0 My marriage is facing some challenges even today.\u00a0 Because of the economy, Rollin is working in another city three hours away.\u00a0 However, I know we will pass through this time of difficulty because of what God has done in the past and will do for our future.<\/p>\n Is there anything about your parenting that you now regret? Do you mind sharing that with us?<\/strong><\/p>\n One thing that I now regret about my parenting is I felt I had to be perfect as a wife, mother, and homemaker.\u00a0 I felt a lot of pressure from outside influences that all had to be perfect.\u00a0 But God did not call me to be perfect, He called me to do the best I could with His help.\u00a0 That has been a hard lesson for me to learn.\u00a0 I still struggle with that to this day.\u00a0 It is my prayer that if you are reading this that you will let go of perfection of this world and enjoy the grace of God.<\/p>\n When your children were very young, did you have any hobbies you enjoyed just for yourself? If so, what were they?<\/strong><\/p>\n I have always enjoyed sewing.\u00a0 In fact when the kids were young, I made some of their clothes.\u00a0 I also found time to knit or crochet.\u00a0 Another hobby I enjoyed was counted cross stitch.\u00a0 I would do counted cross stitch projects as I waited at doctor\u2019s appointments, speech therapy sessions,\u00a0 to pick up kids from school, or any other time where I had a few minutes.\u00a0 I have given many cross stitch projects as gifts through the years.\u00a0 Now, sewing is my main hobby.<\/p>\n If you could give newer moms three pieces of advice, what would they be?<\/strong><\/p>\n Pray. Pray. Pray<\/strong>.\u00a0 Of course I prayed when my children were young.\u00a0 However, it was during their teen years I realized the importance of prayer for my children.\u00a0 The book by Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Parent<\/span> is an excellent resource to learn how to pray for your children in a proactive way.\u00a0 The book taught me a lot about prayer for my children. I truly believe that we would not have had some our teen issues with our strong-willed child if I had been a proactive praying parent sooner instead of a reactive praying parent.<\/p>\n When we would have challenges with disobedience with a child, I would try to pray with that child about the action of disobedience giving them the chance to pray first.\u00a0 Then I would pray for the child and then ask God to help me be the mother He was calling me to be for that particular child.\u00a0 It was important to me for them to know that they realized all of us needed prayer.\u00a0 And sometimes, we as parents make mistakes and our children need to know that we are accountable to God for our mistakes as well.<\/p>\n Most of the time Andrew and I were able to pray together about many things.\u00a0 However, Heather was a different story.\u00a0 Most of the time, Heather would not pray with me as a teen.\u00a0 She would say, \u201cWhen you pray Mom, you win.\u201d\u00a0 When Heather became a college student, I was invited to join a group of praying parents.\u00a0 Together each week we would pray for our kids, the university, the professors and any other needs.\u00a0 By participating in the prayer group, I learned so much about prayer.\u00a0 It was amazing to see God at work because of prayer.\u00a0 Heather started to call me with a few prayer requests.\u00a0 At times she would call and ask us to pray her through some difficult situations during her college years.\u00a0 Today, both Andrew and Heather still call me with prayer requests.<\/p>\n Today, I am a member of a prayer group of four people.\u00a0 We attend the same church where we gather to pray weekly for our needs.\u00a0 I have seen God at work through some difficult circumstances as we have prayed as a group.\u00a0 I challenge you to find a group of friends that are willing to gather and pray on a weekly basis. I am often amazed how the other women in my group are able to voice prayers that bring me such comfort and strength.\u00a0 Often they will be in prayer for a situation and will pray about the challenge from a different perspective that I have not thought about.\u00a0 So I encourage all who read this to find someone to pray with and lift your children to the LORD.<\/p>\n Is there a question I haven’t asked that you would like to answer?<\/strong><\/p>\n I do not think so.\u00a0 I feel like I have just written a book.\u00a0 Amy, I would like to thank you for asking me to participate with Real (Experienced) Moms.\u00a0 By answering your questions, God has reminded me how He has been at work through my journey as a wife and mother.\u00a0 It is my prayer that God will be glorified as your readers read my answers.\u00a0 I could not have been a wife of 30 years (Oct. 25th<\/sup> is our anniversary) and a mother for 29 years without His grace, mercy, guidance, love and most of all His forgiveness.<\/p>\n Thank you for sharing with us, Cindy!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n If you, or a mom you know, has at least one child 20 years or older and out of the house and would like to share your stories, please drop me a note<\/a> and let me know. I\u2019m always looking for new Real (Experienced) Moms to feature.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n