My devotional time had been lacking. For several weeks I was doing the reading, praying a little, but not really offering much of me and consequently not really listening. I was TIRED and I had to finish the reading before the kids woke. So I glossed over most of it, not really searching, but asking God to spoon-feed me.
Today marks the beginning of a new attitude.
As I read through it today, here’s what God hit me over the head with:
Scripture: Philemon 1:6
“I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.”
Observation: Being “active in sharing” leads to “full understanding?” I always thought it would be the other way around. Do we learn by sharing?
Application: (On this one I began writing and then realized it was my Prayer part, too. So I’ve decided to just combine it.) Help me to gain confidence to share so that my understanding will grow. Please guide me in my understanding. Guide me in my sharing.
Should I be blogging about my REAL journey through faith? The real questions? And in sharing I will gain understanding…
At that point I had to run, leaping through the hallway, to find my husband and share my revelation. THIS is IT! This is my story! This is what I should write about! Halleluiah!
Recently I had been struggling not only with my prayer time, but I had also been praying about my writing. I have been struggling with my writing for years. I enjoy writing, but I’ve had a writer’s block for many many years. When I left the working world to become a mom I thought I would become a writer. I would have tons of free time (hahahaha) to pursue writing.
Well, motherhood kept me busy and I couldn’t find my voice. Would I write about the real story in being a mom? To me it seemed there was already enough material out there and mine wouldn’t be any better. (I don’t think I’m a witty writer. Never have been.) Should I write travel stories? Our family enjoys lots of travel and I do have a journalism degree so I should be able to write. But that wasn’t happening. I just couldn’t get the words down and a story complete.
I prayed about it. “Lord, I know you gave me this gift, why can’t I use it? What are you saving me for? There must be something… isn’t there?”
Well, I think this morning He revealed it to me. And now I am going to begin revealing my true heart, my true thoughts with you.
I am a real mom, sister, daughter, friend, neighbor and Christian. And I’m far from perfect. And I have lots of questions. I’m afraid to share my faith because I don’t want to be wrong. And I don’t want my mistakes to lead others away from Christ. But I’ve read that He will equip me. I need to lean on Him.
So (yikes) here I go. I don’t have a set plan. But I’m going to listen as best as I can. And I’m going to share my story with you. This will be like an ultimate travel story… a journey into my heart as I grow in my faith. I promise it won’t all be about butterflies and sunshine. And it won’t be perfect… the writing or all of my observations. It will be about whatever is truly on my heart. Won’t you join me?