This morning I walked my kids into the church for vacation Bible school. It was the first time for me this week. A friend of mine took them and brought them home Monday, as I was out of town for work. She also took and brought them home Tuesday as I had standing calls. Today I drove them, even though my friend, who lives super close to me, has to be there anyway to volunteer… even though I really have tons of work to do.
So I drove my kids there, walked into the building, looked around at all my other mom friends and felt awkward. I felt bad for not volunteering. It was a little unsettling.
In my earlier days I served as a VBS volunteer. But then we hosted two foreign exchange students so, to prepare, I pulled myself off of other volunteer efforts to be there for those girls and my family. No more VBS, no more room mom stuff. Then I added Bible in 90 Days to my load. It was virtual and I loved it. I was still contributing. I liked that feeling and I loved the feeling of being immersed in His Word and guiding others to the same.
Now I work in a different way… in a non-volunteer way.
I’m building VineSleuth and our app, Wine4.Me. And I feel weird calling myself a working mom. But I am. And, even though it is wine-related, I have no doubt I am following the path God has set before me. But it does feel weird. I feel awkward asking my friend to take and pick up my kids each day even though it is on a route she is already driving– and I know that if the roles were reversed, I’d be puzzled as to why she just wouldn’t let me help.
Asking for help is hard. Shifting gears is hard. Chasing a dream and doing something completely new, even when you are confident God is on your side is really hard.
But I’m still moving forward. And trying not to feel awkward.
Thank you, friends, for your love and support and kindness and many volunteer efforts toward my kids and others. I really do appreciate it. And thanks for reminding me not to feel awkward.
I can’t be alone in this. Anyone else feel this way… Working or not?
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