Meeting our next Real (Experienced) Mom has been a joy to my family. She is one of our favorite retired preschool teachers and is wonderful lady who gives much of herself to those around her. I was so excited when she agreed to answer our questions. I hope you enjoy her answers as much as I have…
Real (Experienced) Mom interview with Karen
What are the approximate ages of your children now?
Three sons – 44, 42, 41
Do you have grandchildren?
Seven grandchildren – 6 granddaughters, 1 grandson
What are some of the qualities that you admire in your children?
I admire their stick-to-itiveness, I admire where they have found their passions in life, and I admire their enjoyment of life.
How much of their personality now was a part of them as children?
I see some traits that were strong as children being strong in them as adults, and I see things in them now that I was sure I would never see in them. I am pleasantly surprised! They always were fun-loving, and they still are.
Before your children were of traditional school age, were you a stay at home mom or were you employed outside the home? At the time, how did you feel about that decision? How do you feel about it now?
I was a stay at home mom until the boys were all in school fulltime.
I always appreciated being able to be home, even though it meant that sometimes Dan would take on extra jobs just to make money. I still appreciate and value that time at home with the kids. In my younger years I was more critical of working moms than I am now. I regret that I judged others – I see young families today working hard.
Tell me about a difficult decision you remember making as a mom concerning one of your children. If you could do it over, would you make the same choice?
One time an adult was yelling at one of our boys, who was guilty of the accusation the adult was accusing him of, but I stepped in because the adult was so angry that I was frightened for our son. The adult became very angry at me for intruding, but I stayed firm. When things cooled off and the adult left, I let our son have it, and, later on, so did his dad. He probably would have been better off taking the scolding from the first adult! I would do it over again, but I would have disciplined our son differently. However, our son mentions the incident and says thanks for “saving him.”
Tell me about something you feel you did ‘right’ as a mom.
I think the most important gift we gave our sons was a day-to-day relationship with Jesus Christ – not just a ‘Sunday morning, in your best clothes kind,’ but an everyday, good day and bad day, relationship.
What were some of your family’s favorite meals that you served? Would you mind sharing any of those recipes?
Bar-b-que ribs, potatoes salad, tacos, a pork roast with potatoes and carrots
Are there any particular foods that your grown children now ask for at family gatherings? Would you mind sharing those recipes and any story behind the dish?
We had a few dishes that we always served for big family gatherings and parties. “Confirmation potatoes” and “confirmation dessert” are two – both taste good, easy to make ahead of time, and serve many – and still popular with all of us.
CONFIRMATION POTATOES
- 2 lbs. frozen hash browns
- 1/2 c. melted margarine
- 1 t. salt
- 1/2 t pepper
- 2 T. dried minced onions
- 1 can cream of chicken soup
- 1 pt. sour cream
- 2 c. grated American cheese
TOPPING:
- 1/4 c melted margarine
- 2 c. crushed corn flakes
Mix ingredients, put in 9 x 13 pan. Mix melted margarine and crushed corn flakes, put on top. Bake 350 for 45 min.-1 hour.
CONFIRMATION DESSERT
- 2 c. crushed pretzels
- 1 c. sugar, divided
- 3/4 c. margarine, melted
- 8 oz. cream cheese
- 8 oz. cool whip
- 2 (3 oz.) pkg. strawberry Jello
- 2 c. boiling water
- 2 (10 oz.) frozen strawberries
Mix crushed pretzels, 1/2 c. sugar, and melted butter together. Pat into bottom of 9 x 12 pan. Bake at 350 for 10 minutes, until light brown.
Cream together cream cheese, 1/2 c. sugar, and cool whip. Spread mixture over cooled pretzel crust. Mix Jello in boiling water, stir until dissolved. Add partially thawed strawberries. When almost set, spread over cream cheese layer. Chill until firm.
Did you establish or follow any family traditions with your children that you especially cherished… then or now? Tell me about a few of your favorites.
Most of our family traditions at home centered around church festivals – since Dan was a church musician, we were usually home for the holidays because he had to work. So there was always lots of church, lots of music, lots of worship.
One of the kids reminded me at Easter time how they never had Easter baskets – their Easter candy and eggs always came in something more practical, like a minnow bucket, a fishing tackle box, or a new wastebasket for their bedroom. Santa was not big at our house, either.
How did you celebrate birthdays with your children?
The birthday child always got to name the menu – whatever they wanted for dinner. Sometimes it was at home, sometimes at a restaurant. We weren’t big birthday party people, mostly family, a few friends, and a few gifts.
What were some of your family’s favorite things to do together when you had preschoolers? Elementary-school age children? High schoolers? Now?
We went to many parks and many ballgames when the kids were young. Their dad was a coach and they all played ball, so sports was a big part of their favorite things to do. They loved to go to lakes, beaches, anywhere with space and rocks and water.
We still love beaches and water.
What memories of their youth do you think your children recall most fondly now?
They were all involved in sports and music as high-schoolers. We lived in Missouri during their high school days, near Dan’s family. They were “day students” in a boarding school for their high school years, so we often had many friends over for weekends, dinners, family events. They all recall the annual summer trips we made from California to the Midwest, to see grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Some of their high school memories I do not know about, and it is better that way!
Is there anything about your parenting that you are especially proud of? What is it?
As I said, the faith life of our children was very important to us, and I am glad to see each involved in their faith life and church life. I like seeing them stand up for the needy, for the marginalized, for the less-well-off.
We also tried to teach our kids to respect the world that God gives us, to use less, to sometimes “make do” rather than “buy new” -to enjoy and respect the free things that God gives us, and to preserve those things for their children and grandchildren.
Is there anything about your parenting that you now regret? Do you mind sharing that with us?
My temper sometimes got the best of me, and I wish I would have kept that in check. And I wish I would have made them stay in piano lessons longer, just to be sure they really hated it as much as they thought they did. Now they tell me I should have not let them quit.
When your children were very young, did you have any hobbies you enjoyed just for yourself? If so, what were they?
I have always enjoyed various crafts – macrame, needlework, fabrics, etc. – and I enjoyed doing them even when the boys were young. I think it is important for children to see adults enjoying pleasures in life – things that make our world more beautiful – in their leisure time, as well as their work time.
It encourages creativity and satisfaction when we make things with our hands.
If you could give newer moms three pieces of advice, what would they be?
Raise your children to know the Lord, let them see you in worship and Bible study, enjoy your children, give them boundaries, let them make decisions when they are ready to, and allow them to enjoy/suffer the consequences of those decisions.
Is there a question I haven’t asked that you would like to answer?
Yes – What is one of the most satisfying things about being a grandparent? I love seeing my children as parents. I see so much of them in their children, and I see how they do some things differently than we did as parents and some things the same. But I love watching my sons being dads and my daughter-in-laws being moms!
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