“Take time with your husband…” Our next Real (Experienced) Mom shares

I don’t know about you, but I am really enjoying the Real (Experienced) Moms series Thursdays right here on MomsToolbox.

Although I have known all the moms quite well (so far) I have still gained new perspective from what they have shared.

This week, my mother-in-law, for whom I am quite thankful,  shares a few of her experiences as a Real (Experienced) Mom.

To be quite honest, I hope this inspires you to ask some of these questions of your own mom and mother-in-law, if that is possible. You might be amazed at their answers, as well as what conversation these questions might lead you to.

(And if your mom or mother-in-law, or other Real (Experienced) Mom you know and respect, would like to answer them for MomsToolbox, please let me know!!)

So, on with the interview:

Real (Experienced) Mom Interview with Sue

What are the approximate ages of your children now?

49, 45, 44, 38

Do you have grandchildren?

7 grandchildren

What are some of the qualities that you admire in your children?

They are all kind, gentle, caring adults.

They all have good morals and they are passing these traits on to their children.

I think that they are all wonderful parents to their children.

How much of their personality now was a part of them as children?

They were fun-loving as children and they remain that way as adults. They were active children and they are all very active as adults.

Before your children were of traditional school age, were you a stay at home mom or were you employed outside the home?

I worked until my first child was four years-old (and she was kept by my mother as a baby), so I knew she was in good hands.  Then, when our second child was due, I quit working and I was a stay-at-home mom until our last child started kindergarten. Then I went to work part-time mother’s hours (9 a.m. until 2 p.m.) so I was always home when the children came home from school.

Tell me about a difficult decision you remember making as a mom concerning one of your children. If you could do it over, would you make the same choice?

When our children were 12, 8, 7 and 1, their grandmother (whom they dearly loved) passed away on December 23. Since it was Christmas-time, we decided not to have them attend her funeral. We opted that it was better for them to remember her the way she was when alive.  Our oldest begged us to let her attend the funeral, but we held fast to the decision to have them spend Christmas with their aunts, uncles and cousins.

I still feel to this day that we made the right decision for our children.

Tell me about something you feel you did ‘right’ as a mom.

I supported them in whatever they wanted to try.

I played with them.

I taught them right from wrong.

Did you establish or follow any family traditions with your children that you especially cherished… then or now? Tell me about a few of your favorites.

For years we spent Christmas Eve with our entire family in Illinois. When we relocated, we continued to spend Christmas-time together. We try to make it a special family time.

How did you celebrate birthdays with your children?

First birthdays were a very special occasion.

Birthdays were always celebrated  with cakes and presents, but not any very special events.

What were some of your family’s favorite things to do together as a family through the years?

We played outdoors with our children. We had a pool in our backyard where we spent a lot of summer time. Several times their grandmother went with us on vacations.

We never missed any event they were in.

We attended many, many sporting events. One of our boys was active in theater, so we also supported his efforts.

What memories of their youth do you think your children recall most fondly now?

We lived in a new community with lots of young families with children, so most of our time was spent enjoying our kids play and interact with other families.

Is there anything about your parenting that you are especially proud of? What is it?

We tried to teach our children that they could do whatever they wanted to do if they worked hard at it.

Is there anything about your parenting that you now regret? Do you mind sharing that with us?

Yes. I wish I had given them a stronger religious background.

I also think we could have set higher standards for their schooling. We did not push them as we could have.

When your children were very young, did you have any hobbies you enjoyed just for yourself? If so, what were they?

Yes. I belonged to a woman’s club. I played bridge with a ladies group once a week.

If you could give newer moms three pieces of advice, what would they be?

1. Enjoy every moment, because time goes by too quickly.

2. Take time with your husband, without the children, so you can build a strong relationship with him. The children will grow up and leave home and then there will be just the two of you.

3. Always stand together in making decisions regarding the children, even if you do not agree. Your children must see you as one unit.

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Amy

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  • Elizabeth Chute

    I definitely agree with the husband part. We are so focused with the children that we forget the husband. The children grow up, they WILL grow up, and they WILL leave home. We love them, nurture them, teach them, feed them, make mistakes and show them the way they should go, but they do go. Our husbands, by the grace of God, will be there when all is said and done, and we will look at them and say, who are you? Unless you spend time growing, nurturing and feeding your relationship with him as well, then it won’t be there. You need to realize that your relationship with your husband is a living thing as your and it changes and needs to be fed. Keep it alive with activities, time and passion, with the kids, but alone as well. Find something you can do together as a couple that you enjoy and make it something you can do anywhere.

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