What’s your best advice for a pregnant, first-time mom?

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by

Amy
in

When you look like this:

people have a lot of advice for you.

(And yes, by the way, that is me, very pregnant, as a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding a few years ago. My husband suggested we make curtains from the dress because there was so much fabric. Nice.)

This weekend someone asked me what my number one advice for a new mom would be. I decided to share two tips:

1. Breathe and know that the tiredness and confusion and frustration (that I experienced anyway) will pass. Days drag on and can be hard, but the weeks fly by… and you WILL sleep again. And all your devotion WILL pay off.

2. Find and schedule a babysitter regularly (or trade with a friend) so you and your husband can have time together or, if you are a single mom, you can have a break to relax and not have to be at the ready for a few hours. My husband really pushed on the babysitter issue and I am so thankful he did.

So… what about you, experienced moms: What’s your one (or two) best pieces of advice?

Comments

33 responses to “What’s your best advice for a pregnant, first-time mom?”

  1. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    1) Be the mom you are, not the mom you think you should be. When I became a mom, I discovered that some wonderful women whom I greatly admire have very different parenting styles than I do. Trying to copy them – and going against my natural instincts – made my first year of parenting very difficult. Once I realized that God created me the way I am, and he gave ME to my children as a mother, not anyone else, things got a lot easier, and a lot more fun!

    2) Find like-minded moms to encourage and support you. This is especially important if your parenting style departs from the “mainstream.” I can’t imagine trying to mother my three little ones without my amazing, loving, encouraging mama friends!

    3) This kind of goes with (1), but take what works for your family and leave the rest. Everyone has advice for you. Some of it is great; some of it simply won’t work for you as a mother. Be confident in your choices – you will make mistakes, but you still know your family better than anyone else does. I often remind myself that I am all doing the best I can where I am at, and that’s all anyone can do.

    Reply
  2. Leanna Fink Avatar
    Leanna Fink

    Just remember, No one is perfect you will mess up.don’t beat yourself up over it!!!!! Don’t think you are a bad mother when you mess up either!! Children don’t know the difference just try your hardest and learn from your mistakes

    Reply
  3. Serena Lee Avatar
    Serena Lee

    I could truly hug you for this post. Coming from a first-time mama who is 14 weeks pregnant (well, as of tomorrow!)–this page is going to be bookmarked. Thank you so much for this, and thank you to everyone who comments!!! Trust me, your words of advice are being soaked up!!

    Reply
  4. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Find that one Woman who shares your values and ask her how she made it. Let her with Gods help be your mentor. This might be your mom, a woman from church, Just that someone who is there when you might need a listening ear,.

    Reply
  5. Sue Avatar
    Sue

    Research all the vaccines before you make a final decision to vaccinate your child. Inform yourself of the adverse reactions of each vaccine and the ingredients in each of the vaccines. This is the best advice I can give.

    Reply
    1. Sarah Avatar
      Sarah

      Good advice, and I would expand that to include all the medical decisions we make, especially for our precious little ones. No one can know everything about everything, but we can at least check out a couple different sources of information before making a decision.

      Reply
  6. Tara Avatar
    Tara

    Oooh – 1 or 2? Pray without ceasing, take care of yourself or you are no good to anyone else, every moment when you think you may absolutely lose your mind, KNOW for sure, that there will be a day when your 12 year old daughter is passing down her too-small 36C bras to you, when your normally outspoken, goofy, loud 11 year old son is suddenly sitting by the sweetest little girl in church who came in obviously trying to find him and he’s actually still and quiet and really listening to another person when they speak to him, and when your 7 year old is telling you that when she is grown, she is going to still live with you, and so are her husband and their ten children and they are all going to be artists and we can be together all the time…. you WILL look back and miss this. I promise, at some point (or usually many points, many times a day) we all miss the simplicity in a baby crying for no reason at all except they don’t want to sleep! Thank GOD for neices and nephews! LOL!

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      Good stuff! :) And so sweet.

      Reply
  7. Avatar
    Anonymous

    I wrote a post about the 10 things that I wish someone would have told me:
    http://missionalmamassoul.blogspot.com/2010/04/why-didnt-someone-tell-me.html

    Looks like you already have some great ideas in the comments and Amy, you look so cute preggers!

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      Thanks– for the kind comment and the link to the great list. You’ve got some really good stuff there!

      Reply
  8. Roberts1715 Avatar
    Roberts1715

    No one knows your baby better than you; always trust yourself!

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      Good one! So hard to trust yourself– but you must!

      Reply
  9. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Take lots & lots of pictures & videos of the most ordinary moments. They change & grow so quickly!

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      I love all those sweet photos– now if I could get back in the scrapbooking habit, I’d really be happy! :) My kids love looking at pictures of themselves when they were younger. I do, too!

      Reply
  10. mom2bbjandag Avatar
    mom2bbjandag

    Everything else will wait. Or, on some days, you might phrase it, “This too shall pass.” Sleep when you need to. Stop to play, rock, stroll, or just sit and look at your baby whenever you want to. Do not worry about having all the laundry done, cleaning the house to spotless condition, or vacuuming the car…it will wait. Although some days may seem to drag by, the time passes far too quickly. Enjoy it while you can…everything else will wait.

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      SO hard to remember in the moment and yet so very true!

      Reply
  11. Melissa Mason Avatar
    Melissa Mason

    Try and avoid stress and emotional situations, eat healthy, whole foods and rest as often as possible. Walk daily and play lots of praise music! Enjoy the life growing inside you.

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      :)

      Reply
  12. Krystijo2006 Avatar
    Krystijo2006

    when i was pregnant with my first son very close to my due date , a lady in the bathroom at babies r us asked when i was due and if this was my first, i said yes. just nice pleasant small talk then she left. she came right back and said “since this is your first baby can i give you some advice no one gave to me?” of course i said,”sure” and her advice was …if at first you DO NOT fall madly in love with your baby, it is okay. if it doesnt feel like a fairy tale, it is okay. this DOES NOT mean you are going to be a bad mom or that you must not love your baby as much as all the moms you have heard GUSHING about their instant love. she said her love grew daily it was not instant and she felt bad about that but now she knows it is the way many moms feel. very nice lady. i always thought that was so thoughtful of her to come back to the ladies room just to share this info. so im passing it on :]

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      I’m glad she went back, too– and glad you shared her words here. Thanks!

      Reply
  13. Brandy Avatar
    Brandy

    Oh….they’re only babies for a short while. Breathe it all in. Enjoy every moment. They grow up so quickly. :)

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      It does fly, doesn’t it!? Except when you’re all stressed out and tired. But now, as I look back, I can’t believe how quickly it did go.

      Reply
  14. Multipurposemom Avatar
    Multipurposemom

    Not sure if this would be my “best” advice, but perhaps what I’m feeling now:
    As parents, it is our responsibility to be able to emotionally regulate….and when you can’t (because you WILL have those moments) it it’s perfectly ok to give YOURSELF a time-out!
    Ok, 1 more:
    NEVER STOP PRAYING FOR YOUR KIDS!

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      Both of these are awesome! I still have to give myself time outs here and there.

      Reply
  15. Hannah C. Avatar
    Hannah C.

    Get someone else to watch the baby as often as you need it, so that you don’t go crazy with feeling overwhelmed. For me, this means my sister comes over once or twice a week and I do housework.

    DON’T BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT AND ASK FOR HELP.

    Find other moms to socialize with.

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      The first time I went to the moms’ group at church my husband asked how much he could pay for me to get to go back.. just being with other moms for a few hours made a tremendous difference for me. And we were both delighted for the change.

      Reply
  16. Sbhokie Avatar
    Sbhokie

    Research your birth options–if you don’t like your care-provider, or they don’t make you feel comfortable–switch! Don’t go into delivery as an innocent by standard–be informed of all your options!

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      YES!!!!!!

      Reply
    2. Sarah Avatar
      Sarah

      So good! And I would add that yes, your birth matters! No matter how it plays out, being a part of the decision-making process can change the way you see yourself as a woman and a mother forever.

      Reply
  17. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Love the picture. I’ve taken pictures at that exact place several times for weddings. :)

    There are three books I love to give all new mothers:
    The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg – for establishing a routine (not schedule) with your newborn
    Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth – for around 3 months or so when baby starts developing consistent sleep patterns. This book changed my life.
    How to Photograph Your Baby by Nick Kelsh – Awesome everyday tips for the everyday mom on how to take better photos of your baby.

    Also, I always tell new moms to take a nail file to the hospital to file the baby’s nails when they are first born so they won’t scratch themselves, and of the wonder that is Mylecon. ;)

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      Great tip and great books! Thanks!

      Reply
  18. Somebody's Mimi Avatar
    Somebody’s Mimi

    Listen to your Mother or Grandmother she only has your best interest at heart. Go with your “Gut (no pun intended) Feeling”. Don’t listen to all the horror stories of having a baby… your experience will be YOUR experience and everyone is different!
    BTW… I LOVE your picture!! You had the glow! :)

    Reply
    1. Amy @ MomsToolbox Avatar
      Amy @ MomsToolbox

      Thanks, Mom. :)

      Reply

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